Seeking the truth is not easy. We live in a world built on illusions. Illusions that are mostly based on false perceptions that we either develop or are taught.
I am seeking truth on issues that I presumed to know. I am learning that what is real is not necessarily true and the problem is that most of us are trying to make our reality the truth not just for ourselves but for everyone around us. By doing that we are missing out on truly experiencing what is around us and spreading lies to other people.
I am a Christian…at least I still think I am but recently I have been asking myself why I am one in relation to what is true. I guess the question I am asking myself is why am I a Christian? Is Christianity true? What evidence makes it true?
I have no question about Christianity being real…it is real to all that believe. However, my question is if Christianity is true shouldn’t it be real for all of us? Shouldn’t we all be able to see, feel and hear what Christians do? Because truth is consistent? The rays of the sun and the splatter of rain reach all of us whether Christian or aetheist. They are real and true. However, that is not the same for the claims of Christianity.
Christianity claims that for me to experience the truth, I have to believe without there being any evidence for the claims they make. That is ridiculous. To ask faith without evidence to a rational mind is torture. When I believe, the evidence that I finally get is subjective not objective. This means that I constantly have to argue without evidence when defending Christianity. It is this that makes me think that debating about the claims of Christianity is not something a Christian should do.
I ask myself whether I would have been a Christian if I was not born in a predominantly Christian society?
I have had amazing experiences as a Christian and that is why I believe that it is real. I have felt, seen and heard things that could be God. Whether that reality is based on personal experience rather than truth is still something I am trying to figure out.
I have gone through many difficult experiences and my belief in God got me through those moments. My experiences as far as Christianity is concerned occurred during those moments. Did God really come through for me or was I too desperate in these moments that I created a reality that is not true? Our minds have the ability to create our own realities when they want and when you are emotionally distressed, you are more likely to do that.
I have always thought of myself as a critical thinker and discovering that I have never critically thought about my beliefs was a surprise. I want to seek truth and find answers to questions that I have been told I should not ask. I want to get rid of illusions that I have learned and created because of my experiences and hopefully in the end I can be able to differentiate the truth from perceived reality.
I want to question everything. If something is true, then it should be able to survive under careful inspection. I have lived all my life accepting things as they are. This is going to stop and it stops with me accepting that I am automatically a Christian without concrete reasons why I’m one. Right now the only valid reason I have to be a Christian is my fear of hell and a fear that things will spiral out of control if God is not in control of my life.
This is a pursuit of truth and the last thing I want is for my fear to prevent me from finding the truth. I will overcome my fear but in the meantime, I remain a Christian.
Foregone Illusions 